Thanks for (most of) the memories

So Iceland are out and thanks for the memories (except for the Round of 16 game. I’m still trying to forget that one). The smallest country ever to appear at the Euros are on their way home. Their fans have been a delight and their team played with heart and desire.
But this looked like a game too far. France methodically picked them off and at half time, you feared that their great adventure may well end in humiliation. Iceland finally began to look like a team that hadn’t made a single change to their starting line up. But they pulled themselves together, put up a spirited performance and scored a couple of consolation goals.
In truth though, the contest was over after twenty minutes. My main feelings were elsewhere. I know I wasn’t the only one who sat there watching it thinking “how could England lose to these?” Iceland would, I think, struggle to stay in the Premier League. I think most teams, with even a semblance of defensive nous would learn how to deal with their fairly basic tactics. But England are of course not a team with any defensive nous. And that’s the least of their problems.
Dietmar Hamman was interviewed in one of the newspapers and was talking about how English football is a mess. There were a lot of good points that came out of what he said but one of the main things he mentioned was that English footballers are not educated to the same level as their foreign counterparts. This is not to say that they’re thick although there’s no doubt that some of them might not be college material.
It’s more that they’re not curious about the world. Most English footballers cannot wait to leave school and start playing. One imagines school for them has been one long period spent waiting for break time so they can kick a ball around. To a certain extent this is understandable. One would need that obsession to make it in professional football. And the clubs don’t help. They get these kids as ten year olds, put them into academies and their schooling takes a back seat. I’m not saying that you need to be Steven Hawking to play professional football (write your own jokes if you need to) but a little interest in other things can’t hurt. One only has to see Spanish or German footballers interviewed often in a second or third language to realise how bright they are.
I wrote yesterday that the hotel had to remove the chandeliers for fear that they might get smashed by the players. This tells me that although they might be grown men with expensive cars and watches and facial hair, they’re basically still children. Which is OK in the Premier League because they’re surrounded by adult foreigners. But not so good at international level when the pressure gets too much, they look around and all they can see are other children. No wonder we fail miserably every time.
And then there’s the money. As well as having the best paid manager, the England squad would almost certainly be the best paid at these championships. And the more they’re paid, the worse England seem to be getting. This can’t be a coincidence. Paying a seventeen year old twenty grand a week cannot be good for his mental wellbeing or his desire to progress. If I was making twenty grand a week, I’d be tempted to sit back just a little bit.
Anyway, that’s enough about England. I don’t really want to think about them anymore. I think they should be shunned for a while. Like lepers. Let’s all get behind the Welsh to beat Portugal and make Ronaldo cry.